Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
My wife just made a "special" dinner "just for me" for no apparent reason. I`m going to die, right ?
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.