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I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
A bachelor party is a lot more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.