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Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas