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I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?