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Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to watch people workout and then absorb their health benefits...
My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.