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I made Creme Brulee today. More food should require the use of a blow torch.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.