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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.