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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
My eye problems starts on Mondays and ends on Friday evening. I see clearer after the fourth bottle.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.