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You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
I always advise people never to give advice.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
Don`t waste my timeline.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.