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Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook