Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!