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FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself I`d quit smoking, I could buy a lot more cigarettes
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?