Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.