Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
Iād like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.