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I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?