Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
That`s not how I met your mother.
lol I rotfl
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.