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I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
Youth is wasted on the young.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.