Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of
Elevator music bothers me on so many levels