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That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Is Nudeism a religion?
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.