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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.