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The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.