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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut