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some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
When I`m bored, I dress up as Waldo, walk up to strangers (in a crowded airport), and say "psssst... if ANYBODY asks......YOU ain`t seen me... capiche?"
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box