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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
You get wasted, swear to much, and your morals are questionable. You`re everything I`m looking for in a friend.