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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"