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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
We live in a society that`s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
You think I’m mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?