Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.