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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".