Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
It`s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.