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Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong