Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
This day needs more yesterday.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well