Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jesus is coming.... look busy
“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?