Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.