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State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
Do you really have to breath that much?
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.