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I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I`m in whey over my head.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent ... I would have to say it’s the kids.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.