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Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
This recliner and I go way back.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?