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You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
Girl: What`s the plan, get me drunk and take advantage of me. Boy: Good, you`ve done this before
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Does running out of money count as exercise?
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.