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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn`t going to help him.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.