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Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
The police never think its as funny as you do.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.