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Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.