Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative