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Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
"Wow, you look good today!” is not a compliment if it comes with a genuinely surprised look.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."