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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it, I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?