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I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.