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Iām not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.