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I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)