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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.