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Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."
You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.