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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?