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I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)