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Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.