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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
I need more people like me in my life
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.