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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
“The darndest things.” -kids
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)