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I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.