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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.