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What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
I don`t have issues... I AM an issue
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie