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Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
Struggling to get your wife`s attention?.....just sit down and look comfortable.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)