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I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
What’s a drunken pirates worst nightmare? A sunken booty with no chest.
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?