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This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.