Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
My wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, Iβve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
I bet itβs pretty hard at a mimeβs funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, Iβll be there.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.