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Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.